What happened to Esoteric Student?

It has been quite some time since I have posted on Esoteric Student, and I have been going through a huge transformation, into middle age.

I have been engaged in continued seeking for more, this time out in my local community and going from here to there, exploring whats on offer in the surroundings of my town...and I have spent a lot of time in the churches.

It came about as a result of an ill-minded accident I had nearly completely severing two of my fingers on my best hand, and the plastic surgery at a hospital quite far away from my home, thus needing transport.

I am so fortunate to live in the place where I do...as I have found out over the past few years. Local to me is a hospital transport service, who, for a donation, got me to where I needed to be at plastics outpatients hospital in a different county regularly.

Truth be told, I lost the spark for Esoteric Student, it has been such a tumultuous time but now feels right to begin to use this blog as a therapy tool once more...

During the trips to the hospital, I have become good friends with one of the volunteers whom I happened to ask if he is a religious man, and indeed he is, very religious.

He is a Christian, his wife too, whom I am also good friends with now. And I listened and we spoke about his life and faith. I then also found out that this volunteer based transport service, operates out of a Christian book shop. If anyone knows me, they know I love hoarding books and I am actually in the process of turning my home into a giant library...I love books!

So I found out where it is, one thing leads to another and I now volunteer there.

During this time though, I had been going to some food morning's at a couple of different churches. Being around them made me even more curious about Christianity, and began to learn.

Through the book shop I discovered a couple of Bible study groups and I also began attending a local Christian Fellowship Church. I would creep in at the back, then creep off again just before it ended, (I can be very shy and timid in different environments.)

The music kept me coming back to begin with, and slowly I began to come out of my shell and be around the church members and community in my town.

And now 18 months or so later, I am looking forward to being Baptized and I now am a Christian.

An infant in Christianity terms, I have a lot of issues to work through, like everyone else does, but slowly, and surely, I am growing in my faith of Jesus Christ, and proclaiming he is King.

On the 23rd of May 2026, with a group of 15 of us, made our way to London for the Jesus March with thousands of others from Marbel Arch to Trafalgar Square...2 miles. It turned into the hottest day of the year thus far and three of us needed medical attention from St John's Ambulance members when we had reached the destination. 

It then turned into a time of mass worship and prayer until around 5 PM and we reached our coach home.

Arena by Simon Scarrow & T.J. Andrews (2013)

Arena is a book I have 'accidentally' come across during one of my recent hospital visits it is written by Simon Scarrow, an author who comes highly regarded by a master of the genre Bernard Cornwell; and T.J. Andrews.

I have never read anything written by either Cornwell, or the two authors of this book, until now.

Book Synopsis: "It's AD 41 in Rome, and the Emperor is fraught with danger. Citizens live at the mercy of the newly crowned Emperor who is determined to asset his authority.

Recently decorated after a successful raid, Optio Macro of the Second Legion is preparing to return to his cohort. Instead, he is tasked by the imperial secretary with training Marcus Valerie's Pavo, a young gladiatorial recruit.

Though fearless novice Pavo has fought for his life before, he has much to learn, and nothing in Ancient Rome is certain. For the upstart has a goal dearer than his own survival - to average his father's dea the at the hands of a champion gladiator. Will he live to face his nemesis?"

It is again a work of fiction but as I'm reading it I'm reminded of just how brutal life has been, and still is for some.

After reading so much  (suppposedly) non-fiction material, reading fiction had really captivated my imagination by aiding the distinction between them both.

This book has really kept my attention and also helped me to find some comfort from the writing and flow of the story. 

At first, prior to reading it I was a bit concerned that it was going to be a tough task to ask for something original, and as I don't have a comparison to go off of yet, I still do not know if it's a typical trope story and subject or not; not until I read some more of this genre.

The reason for reading this book first out of Simon Scarrow Books is due to it being set in the earliest time of the Roman Empire  that he is written about.

I understand that in this book is a sort of origins story of some characters who have been present throughout Scarrow's The Eagles of the Empire series, and up next chronologically on my reading list for this author is to read book 1 titled Under the Eagle, and set in 43AD.

I've really enjoyed reading this book and I appreciate the historical lessons throughout to a layperson like myself am. 

The characters are likeable, and dislikable for the nasty ones but I do hope it will be improved upon in the books authored by Scarrow minus the copilot in Andrews.

I didn't have high expectations prior to reading this book, especially given how many scenarios, tropes, and clichés of gladiatorial fighting dramas. Which may be slightly close minded, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wanted something totally original. But I will hold any further judgements until I read another book on such a subject, and the next in this series.

All in all, I have been collecting all of Simon Scarrow's books and I'm looking forward to reading the next historically based fiction book. 

I haven't quite decided what I want to read next out of my library, fact or fiction? Which genre? Whatever it may be I can assure you it will be interesting.

In my next post I will be sharing my thoughts on a few books I have read sometime ago which have been already revealed via my past "Reading Currently Update" blogs.

Until next time friends 🧡...E.S.

Alastair Reynolds' 'Revelation Space: Space Opera and Hard Science Fiction (2000)

I came across this book and got hooked straight away and I now have purchased the entire series of Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds and I'm really looking for always getting through them, which will take time!

Revelation Space is a hard science fiction space opera and was the first to be released in the Revelation Space universe. There are four main books and six others with the final book in the collection being released in September 2024 to bring it to an even ten books total.

Synopsis: "Nine hundred thousand years ago, something wiped out the Amarantin. For the human colonists now settling the Amarantin homeworld Resurgam, it's of little more than academic interest, even after the discovery of a long-hidden, almost perfect Amarantin city and a colossal statue of a winged Amarantin. For brilliant but ruthless scientist Dan Sylveste, it's more than merely intellectual curiosity - and he will stop at nothing to get at the truth. Even if the truth costs him everything. But the Amarantin were wiped out for a reason. And that danger is closer and greater than even Sylveste imagines...

Revelation Space : a huge, magnificent space opera that ranges across the known and unknown universe ... towards the most terrifying of destinations."

The story I feel has has been really stimulating and an absolutely enjoyable time has been had throughout my first reading. I have avoided interviews with the author and peoples reviews. I did do a search though to identify the series book titles and in which order to read them in. There is a choice to either go chronologically time-wise of the in universe events, or the order they were published in. 

I think that after reading the first published, I am familiar enough to both the author and the universe this Space Opera is set in, and I'm deciding to now begkn the entire series in chronological order.

In my opinion the author is an extremely good writer and the use of the English language is mighty impressive, with a smooth flow and cadence is just about excellent. 

Why haven't I read fiction for a long time? 

Well...to be honest, due to ignorance mostly, I can now analyse this from a step removed, and observational stand point of view because this book has been an awakening for me to the fact that fiction turns to reality with things touching on space and the future fate of our human civilization. 

The science in this book is impressively paraded proudly to the reader right from the off.

My reason for sticking to nonfiction, was because I was oblivious and ignorant to the fact that some of these fictional books offer a lot to be learned, thanks to the intelligence and background of the author presenting their wisdom via their stories. But this is of course what religious and spiritual institutions are built upon.

As a person who enjoys writing, the lessons in writing skill and the grammar of such, form, layout, descriptors and level of craft in such fictional writings are incredibly valuable even regardless of the topic also when gleaned from a stood-away-step or two...

I have just finished the book and my gosh what a masterpiece of science fiction it is.

So deep and vast that only a student of science fact could have created such rich, and intelligently philosophised underpinning of conceptually advanced concepts that is Alastair Reynolds Revelation Space. 

The skill of authorship Alastair Reynolds displays in his writing by utilising the English language from the first to the very last word leaves me in awe, and with nothing less than a profound respect and effect of just how good a science fiction novel can be.

How Revelation Space has got past me all the years since it was published is beyond me.

The story subject matter is so relevant to today, with things like ai, consciousness and medical implants all are themes carried throughout the book I think. 

I mean, I think there's a lot of possibles and plausibles for predicting futures within Revelation Space' pages.

I'm torn as to see why this hasn't graced cinema bigscreens in box-office movies, or also Netflix or Prime etc as a moreish bingeable series.

Personally, I love this book. If you enjoy hard science fiction written with good intelligence as is author Alastair Reynolds, with likeable characters and grandiose scaling , both in time and in space; Revelation Space may be worth some consideration on your next read.

I'm looking forward to reading next in the Revelation Space Universe; Chasm City.

The book I am reading now is taking the reader back in time to the age of the Romans and is titled Arena by Simon Scarrow and T.J. Andrews. Which is the first in a series and part of my series' reading rotation. 

Universal Grattitude and Saying Goodbye

I have been taking some time away from social media and virtual reality now that VitalCon is out of the way and I have been having a really long hard look at my life and surroundings.

Taking the space I need has been a welcome break, and clarity-inducing, prompting me to realise that the direction I am headed, isn't necessarily the way I want to go, in fact, I have seemed to have taken a huge detour and have lost myself to some degree. This break has lifted a weight off of my shoulders, and I have been making progress in my non-virtual reality life, away from the communities who have been such awesome support over these almost few years of this journey. 

When I first was introduced to the notion of impermanence, I resisted and tried to argue that from another perspective, once something exists, although it may transform into different things, that original something still will always and forever be in existence. I think both things are true. Nothing stays the same forever, but the something that it was is still something.

I have spent the last couple and a bit years deeply embedded with multiple virtual reality communities, like Together with Tripp, and Vitality ReAwakened.

But now it is time to say goodbye, take a step back unto thyself, and dampen the flow of cosmic energy and information which has been bombarding my mind and senses.

Something I haven't, but have wanted to, is written on this blog about physical and mental health, and well-being. 

Essentially, at the core, it's why I needed to begin Esoteric Student.

The seeking, searching, exploring, discovering, learning, practices, and religions, all comes down to the temple which is the self; the physical-and-mental-self-health.

Which is (in my opinion), the most esoterical study a person can do, because it is all we can do.

It is doing the 'thing', we are all trying to just do the 'thing'; I mean, at least, I know I'm trying to.

So what I am saying goodbye to, is Discord. I struggle socially, I know I do, but I don't always do the knowing at the same time as I'm doing the doing. And I can be a very ugly person on occasion. 

Esoteric Garden created by Anita; Finding Nimzy in VRChat

While I am taking the time I need, and doing some analysis, the vast majority of the negative situations stem from interactions via messaging using text. And I stopped using Facebook in any meaningful way quite some time ago. I can get quite passionate about things. I can have difficulties in reading tone. I overthink replies, and the edit feature on Discord allows for exacerbating it. I can get confused on knowing how to reply, and process interactions. And the list goes on. I think some of these things are related to my being autistic, and quite severely ADHD, along with a couple of other things.

I will keep my Discord account and check it every once in a while, and is the best way I have to keep up to date on events I enjoy attending, but for the most part, I am reverting back to my pre-Discord position of keeping all of my contact, relationships, and interactions with the virtual reality communities, virtual reality only.

Impermanence enters the equation due to my situation in life now, it is vastly different now compared to a few years ago. I'm now feeling somewhat settled into a new home, which I have only just begun to fix up and make it mine. 

I have new goals and ambitions in regard to this new home.

Something also has changed, and I have realised that I have become so distracted by virtual reality projects, narratives, and egotistical aspirations, that as I touched on at the start of this writing, I have lost my way, and who I am.

So, during this Discord hiatus, while planning out how I want my home to be, sat in my study/office, I also sat in my library, surrounded by many books, many great books of knowledge and intrigue.

While I was in a rough situation for a couple of years before moving home, I collected but was too distracted to get stuck really deeply into these pages, and I found myself using virtual reality and the communities as a distraction that I am only just waking up from now.

I didn't want to be a host, have an event in VR etc. 

What I wanted was to use virtual reality to learn, explore, discover, observe, and commune. And I also wanted to lose myself in my books, to review, write, make a video here and there, have the chance to do some interviews with people.

So these are the things I am now settled enough to concentrate on doing, on my own terms and timeline. And all while blocking out the noise of the things which no longer serve me.

There may or may not be another Medoké on the horizon, I'm not sure yet, but anyone can do that, it is just a concept, with the whole point in mind being, that everyone can do it, and anyone can. To be honest, the event at VitalCon is a heck of a high to go out on,. given its success and turnout. Of which, the video of the whole event is incoming, have no doubt about that.

The calendar of events I have the intention of providing will be watered down, and have the events I am going to, rather than getting lost down the black hole of trying to keep up with every event I can find listed. So I can concentrate on the things I want to do without burning out. My house and life away from all this included, of course. This isn't my job.

I don't want to be a widely known, or popular personality, or public figure, to get paid to do these things by monetising anything and losing my integrity and purpose. Heck, it is all reasons why I choose to remain anonymous also. I tried to come out and found it so terribly uncomfortable. Those who know, know, and those who don't, don't.

I'm passionately grateful for my time on Discord, and grateful to those who have provided and fostered the space for many people to share in some truly amazing and beautiful things together on their servers.

It is important to not misunderstand the words I'm writing, and what you're reading on this statement post. I am the issue that I have. The problem isn't with Discord, nor the communities, or the people, the beautiful and peaceful people. 

I have never come across such wonderful groups of individuals on the internet, at all. 

I am still going to be within their ranks and continue to interact, share, laugh, love, and enjoy their presence in my life, and I hope they feel the same way about me too!

Many of whom will be introduced to the pages within this humble blog of mine over time. 

I have a deep, meaningful, and real love for these human beings, I wouldn't be here without them, they have helped get me through some of the toughest times of my life. 

And so I know they understand that I must be Saying Goodbye to what I am.

Saying Goodbye has a very special place in my heart...because it is the name of an event I go to when I can stay up late enough to, run by a very special person, Tom Nickel, as part of his son's, Jeremy Nickel's, creative vision, who is the founder of Together With Tripp, formerly known as EvolVR.

Their work has had an incredible impact not just on mine, but on scores of people's lives all over the world. So I can highly recommend attending some of their events available not just in virtual reality, but on mobile, PC, Discord, and Spotify too thanks to their excellent event session leaders who are the best in the world at what they do. Bleeding edge stuff.

So with all that out of the way...

Until next time friends!

As the Dust Settles on a Magical First Vitality ReAwakened: VitalCon 2024

Wow, now the dust is settling well and truly on the experience of collaborating on my most recent adventure with Vitality ReAwakened, I feel fully satisfied of its...our, success.

I don't mean, success under one or more variable circumstance, I mean it in totality. This first VitalCon was awesome. This is from a perspective of the inside, behind the curtains, under the shrouded veil, so-to-speak.

Kinks in the chain did happen at certain intervals, but the ways resolutions appeared, appeased all parties became in fascinating, creative ways.

Everybody was able to grow in a great variety of ways, personally and collectively.

And I do mean everyone.

The creative team, organiser's, guest's, were made up of persons I have known for a good while now, who I appreciate, respect, and admire.

It was also made up of people who we are both new to me, as I to them, but now are familiar to one-another...and who now have my respect.

Are there things which could be done differently, yes, for sure, but not better than. Not for a first-time event as big as this.

14 different events of 3 days...let that sink in for a moment...

organised in around 3 months...vr assets included in that.

(I still am trying to let it sink in too!)

It began on January Third with the Opening Event, with Vitality ReAwakened Founder, Anita[FindingNimzy], who presented us with a very well produced video providing an overview titled Dream Journey of a Founder: The Road She Thought She Was Taking Led Somewhere Entirely Unexpected.

Visit: https://www.vitalityreawakened.com

It set the tone and vibe for, and throughout, the duration of VitalCon 2024.

Being part of something like this, has had a great impact on me, as you will come to see over the coming months via future blog posts, and a much larger project TBA.

The planning team really blossomed and by the finale it was obvious that relationships have been forged that go beyond that of which we were familiar of each other with.

There will of course be next year's VitalCon 2025! (That is all I can say on that front for now;)

The stars of the show were of course, our visitors, friends, family but all are our guests.

Everybody that attended showed many a great thing but grace, patience, presence, and kindness.

I attended every event but two. And it was amazing and humbling, which is our community in a nut shell.

Not one problem to be seen anywhere, from anyone.

Need I go on, or say more?

Sure, okay, it was fantastic to bare witness to.

And you might think this is a rare, or radical thing to be telling you, telling myself even; but it's not, and hasn't since day one of being in this community, or close by. 

The opposite, the rarity is the other, so rare that I as I write this cannot think of an example. 

But as I write this I do realise that this writing is radically profound of a thing to stop and put even more of a focus on this fact, than I already do...just incredible.

And definitely worth highlighting for anyone not in one of these communities, or can't understand, or visualise it, or VR.

I will be doing more of that.

Bravo to those who know, and were present.

To close this post up, here's an awesome recap created by Anita.

Indeed, They Are Only Getting Started!

And Vitality ReAwakened host's multiple weekly events.

If you would like to keep up to date on all things Vitality ReAwakened, and VitalCon 2025, join their Discord server here: https://discord.com/invite/uwTysFzEsu