Some Thoughts from the Week or so, The Bhagavad Gita and PSI in Pyschotherapy

This has been a week of realisations

I need to be more organised and find the balance between self care, study, and other personal projects (I may or may not reveal at some point here) if I am to live a truly happy life. 

Back to basics is a must, especially now I have another epic area to explore and investigate. Sri Bhagavan, Bhagavad-Gita, The Vedas, and Hare Krishna.

I'm reading the Bhagavad-Gita by Gita press and I feel like my soul leaks and is pouring and bleeding colour out through my eyes.

As for "Bhagvad Gita As It Is", I have read the Gita parts of it but not yet the commentary as I am awaiting my copy of the 1972 version written as it originally was prior to the ISKCON troubles.

A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is an interesting fellow. I will be doing a deep dive on him and ISKON at a later date.

So I think for now I am going to dedicate 7 day cycles as to my studies.

Another book I have been reading is "PSI in Pyschotherapy: Conventional & Nonconventional Healing of Mental Illness" by Alex Tanous, D.D., Elaine Schwinge, M.D., and Andrew F. Bambrick, Ph.D.

Synopsis: Rd. Alex Tanous (1926-1990) was an international lecturer on the topics of well-being, creativity and parapsychology. A self-professed psychich, he spent twenty years of his life being tested for his claims of 'light project' and going 'out-of-the-body' at will. He was also wellknown for placing his predictions of future events on record. This book, written in the 1980s by Tanous and colleagues, gives an overview of an innovative approach in the combined fields of conventionasl and non-conventional psychotheraputic healing."

The concept is intriguing for me due to it being two areas of interest. Psychology and Parapsychology but this a pretty dull read and I wont be spending much time writing about it. But the idea of co-working in this way has stuck in my head. 

Especially given I heavily appreciate Carl Jung's Black and Red books which I am going to writing in depth about on Esoteric Student.

Between the HIndu texts, Buddhism, Carl Gustav Jung, and my studies on consciousness and ESP, minfulness practices, a few traditional esoteric topics, hermetiscism divination, and tarot, and virtual reality, I think it is a solid foundation to be entangled with.

If I want to learn and grow I must also do more physical activity and look after myself. I must not let the main thing in my life be the blog itself. I feel the wise thing to perceive it as being is a positive byproduct of this journey I am on. A source for inspiration and progress on the self, it needs to be less than a single stress.

I need to be less egoistic, which has at times been the source of my own manifestations and has bled into my writings and soul. But fortunately I am catching myself doing it quick enough for some damage control pre-action…such as when I press the send button.

"If I was a better person" is something also to be said less and less…or is this my ego self now writing such a thing?

Currently though I have so many things I wish to do, but less and less time to do it as inevitable age caught up with me some while ago already. For this my meditation practice is not yet at a place strong enough to helping as best as I need to be helped when reading given my ADHD. So I am awaiting an appointment to go back onto medication so I can read for hours on end undisturbed. 

And it will help me to report more of how this journey is going also, and it will be non-stimulant.

It's heavy stuff I am researching and I'm not a natural at being a born-again student…I find it really hard to do what (I am faking until I make it) I'm trying to do for myself. 

I really hope many others can try to do things for themselves, even if things do get, or are hard.

Of course Life is hard…but that's the journey.

I would do well to try to remember that, I mean going back on more medication sucks, but I am harming myself by not asking for help. And that could harm others around me too…but I want to be able to keep showing up for myself, because by doing that, we opcan continue to show up for others…and I want to keep showing up for whoever may read this..out there drifting in the ether….unknowing of where it may travel…that's why I do this…for the release and weight reductions, providing I remain mindful of what I am putting out there to them…to you too. ?👁️

Today has had a beautiful full circle. Last week I was happy and grateful of being able to save a tired bumblebee lying almost lifeless on the scorching pavement. So I picked him up and shared a sugary drink with him and allowed him to rest a while before we parted ways.

This morning I received an email inviting me to a three day introduction to practical beekeeping! It is a pilot of a scheme in the works for my local area and they want feedback.

The reasons for my journey continues to evolve, I  look daily at what is happening in the world and it's becoming easier to bury my head in books and keep myself to within the small slice of this earth my home is resting upon.

We are fucked…the dystopia of the future is here, and has been for a long time. But what does "a long time" even really mean?

The more I'm reading the Hindu texts the more I am feeling sure that between such ancient knowledge, and up to the modern era of knowledge I have found what I have been looking for.

A base of areas to focus my studies on which resonates with me…stuff I can grasp (ego talking possibly).

I feel like I have confirmed that what I have discovered and experienced over the course of my life in various states of conciousness, are shared from the oldest of scriptures up to the most modern of sciences.

I feel a little lighter since having this revelation, but the question then becomes "now what?" 

Now I just want to keep learning and have a simple life. I am fortunate enough to have my time to do what whatever I want to do. And so this is what I want to do.

My Journey as the Esoteric Student...Thus Far

After some false starts and searching for my subject and topic of choice to find my path inward and "the in" things, are beginning to flow. And surprisingly to me, I'm unsure how I am feeling about it. But why?

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Well, it's because I am finding synchronicity, and signals that I am now on the most appropriate course to find answers to things that I suspected, and felt that I already knew, of which are the reasons I chose to begin Esoteric Student. And it's a tad bit scary, but for all the right reasons.

You see, the posts that I made prior to this very moment were all about my experiences and feelings of events in my past, which raised questions I needed to answer. And I have written about them in my own language, descriptors, explanations, and understandings. And nothing else. Meaning in the sense of having no knowledge or research of anything considered esoteric to speak of. But, I also have had nobody to relate to, or speak to, or to share with. Zero studying. Zip, nada, nothing. Heck, prior to my calling to this path, I didn't even know what the word esoteric meant. Seriously!

Since beginning Esoteric Student, I have been blindly taking nibbles out of various avenues of esoteric sub-genres, trying to connect with what feels right and organic for me, in order to settle in. Thus, I have now found what I have been looking for. I have also been working on it, and without saying to much about it yet for the sake of the project I have in store for this particular subject, it feels like "the one."

I know this because of the same reasons which are scary/unsettling to me. What I have written about previously, I am now finding information, tales, stories, journeys, data, files, evidence, and language terms, of, about, for, and to, what I have experienced in my life. But I used all my own words, descriptions, interpretations, understandings, and explanations, due to the lack of knowledge and research on, and into such matters. With frightening accuracy.

It is things that I simply could not have ever known about from second-hand information picked up from other people. If it was, I would never have used sentences claiming that I feel some of my perspectives and opinions were entirely unique to only me and that I needed to begin this journey to seek the answers to things encountered in my past, and present, which are profoundly critical to me to a degree of creating websites, blogs, pages, social media accounts. And more importantly, anonymously (for the most part) for fearing of being accused of being completely insane, and needing liberation from the risks the territory poses. For the sake of needing to be as brutally honest with myself while embarking on this undertaking.

And I will prove all of it, but finding the words requires formulation, and a period of acceptance on my part because although I know exactly what I experience, past and present, to be pure truth, in every ounce of my being, it is quite another thing to find confirmation by others. Those others are authors, prominent speakers, in interviews, podcasts, tv programs, documentaries, people who were in the military and government agencies, declassified scientists...and many more places to be found I'm sure. But the things that are truly profound for me, are few...so far. But are speaking, and teaching of things that are identical to the truth I know, without doubt, because I have experienced it, but described in different words. But only because I never knew terminologies coined by legitimate teachers and experiencers who also know the truth. Without question in my opinion and knowledge.

And that brings me full circle to where I am currently in my investigations. Initially, I feared people would think I'm insane, but now I am finding my way, I keep thinking to myself that this is insane! But nonetheless undeniable. I feel like I am finally finding my place on this journey of being an Esoteric Student. 

Perspectives and Cheese Graters

 

Like most of us do, I was just browsing social media and the internet in general, which led me to come across this meme you see before you. And it stopped me in my tracks because of how true it is, how simple it seems of a thing to be pointed out. But yet it is sort of mind-expanding in a more esoteric way than something so unassuming could lead a person to believe.

In a post that I wrote previously, I spoke about the ways in which I see existence, yours, mine, ours, everyone's, and everything.

I mean, within the context of the question asked, along with the image, it does take one a moment away from the self and into the realm of imagination. I can very much visualize the music videos and the artists doing their thing. I can hear the soundtracks in my mind.

One step further than that? I can see in my mind a step further, with the production equipment out of frame. Lighting, cameras, studio crew, director. A bit further behind those, makeup, and fashion stylists won't be too far away. Heck, we could from that point onward travel out the studio and into a car park. And then roads, shops, bars, and restaurants. Why stop there even? Maybe we can envision the moon and beyond. 

We could go beyond that visionary experience, afforded to us by the asset of imagination. Because of perspective. During reading my words, did you see other people in your mind? A celebrity or two perhaps? Very possible, and I have no doubt indeed that many stereotypes were also envisioned. 

But, I wonder how many saw, felt, transported, and traveled from where you are right now as you're reading this, to being there in person. In that studio, on set, lights, camera, music, action, along with the crew, director, artists even, bling everywhere, champagne, cognac, of which, nothing but Hennesy will do, costumes, make-up, getting loose and riding the vibe, all while you're in the center...of a cheese grater!?

In my mind, it raises more questions, ponderings, possibilities, and potential. Because of one reason, my perspective, and back to my earlier post (linked here). But possibly after reading this, it could also be your perspective. Are we all in the cheese grater? 

Very much so, yes, I believe we are. I believe everything is in a cheese grater, all a part of something much, much, much larger than we can ever have the capacity to comprehend. But we can try, and grow along the way as we travel the journey of a traveler in this thing we have chosen to name, called life, and whatever may be outside of, and beyond the greater cheese grater.

For the sake of a running theme of stumbling onto paradoxical conundrums, I suggest to you that looking deeply into oneself, allows, over time, for an ability to outwardly see far beyond the depths journeyed inward. Or So I think, and I wonder if this is remote viewing of, and channeling from an infinite multiverse.

What Do I Believe? What Do You Believe?

What I believe in, prior to starting this brand new adventure of self and solo discovery…

I think, given that this journey is for me, just beginning, it makes sense to make my beliefs known before I become consciously and subconsciously influenced by any (if any?) of the research I do. I am finding this quite difficult for me to put into words, what I can only feel, writing a blog is also brand new to me. In the past, I have thought long and hard over how to write about it because I feel this is genuine and quite A unique take on everything. It will sound ridiculous to some, and I can’t even name the specific point in time where this revelation truly dawned up-onto me. My own personal belief just seems to make complete sense to me, but it is also a lonely place to be in some aspects of having such an individually soloistic idea.

It is with this personal system that I venture out to search for the answers to questions of mine that reinforce, re-awaken and develop, also while being completely open-minded about everything I encounter on the way. I might not find answers for anything at all, and I might end up dismissing what I thought I knew for an entirely new personal system of beliefs! Personally, I do go into this with hope, and I hope I can reinforce and adopt much new. So forgive me if the following of what you read doesn’t make much sense in scholarly or literal terms and reads like the ramblings of a crazy person. I won’t be diving into any of the experiences that have led up to me forming this idea, and remember this is just one uneducated opinion. And the views expressed therein from now are solely my own and are not meant for anyone else.

In life, as we know it, each living thing has its own biology, its own ecosystem. You can see and know that even within the smallest of lives you have forces for good, and forces of bad at play, even with plants. Let me explain, in your body, you have 10 times more microbial cells than your very own human cells, according to scientific literature. It is estimated, based on that figure that the human microbiome has around 100 trillion bacterial cells and approximately 10 trillion human cells. If you consider that there are approximately 7.9 billion humans in our world, the bacterial world begins to take the shape of an image that is very different. But even those are full of light and darkness.

Cells through to humans all have their functions, it isn’t, on a basic level, learned nor communicated, it is simply inherent. The way an animal behaves is its nature and does what it has built within to do. Even humans can only learn what has already been learned, which is a natural process of our function. There are, much like bacteria and cells, good humans and bad humans. We can create, we can love and give light, we can act on anger and darkness, and can create damage and hurt or destroy with war. We all know too well that people are either good, bad or in-between, but each has their role to play and performs that which comes naturally to them. It is just who they are.

With certain esoteric systems, I have thus far not been able to accept the model of the structure of everything. Take, for example, the Qabalistic tree of life. I get that there is a single point from which everything comes, that is impossible for anyone to be able to comprehend, but why are there so few layers to the said tree? I believe we need to think much bigger, and it is very possible to do it within context. If we look back at the mind-bending figures written above and expand on them. Humans are, like good and bad bacteria, within the context of the damage being done to Earth by the bad cells, like a disease. But there are good humans who are trying to fight for the light and repair our broken world, but by far the bad bacteria are winning the fight, like cancer we can’t yet cure. The bad trigger the opposite reaction, which is good, exactly at the moment it comes into creation, quantum-like. It's eternal war.

My point is that if we, for a moment take a step outwards; into space and look at that, the dark matter, the stuff which fills the void between the solid object we can see (in space), touch, and feel, the dark matter begins to look a lot like blood and liquids. With that context in mind, the planets become to be a lot like bacteria, (although bacteria are single-cell organisms unless we look at them on a quantum level) and humans are that from which bacteria is formed. Quantum levels are much of the same idea. On a quantum level, there are many more worlds we can’t understand or comprehend even.

People often ask questions, that in my point of view are the wrong ones to ask. What is the meaning of life? for example, holds little to no academic merit within the scope of my own point of view. Firstly, I think when people ask that question, they are asking it within the context of themselves, a human. But like all living things, they simply do what it is in their nature to do, subconsciously and consciously, good or bad, we react to our wants that are inherently pre-programmed into our being. So the meaning of life, in my opinion, is to simply do what comes naturally to you, just like everything else does. It is the function of your existence. The real question is, what is it that we are a part of? It is obvious to me that we are a part of a much larger creature, and that creature is part of a larger world, where there are other living beings, and inside those, there are others like us and all the living things that we know of around us.

Expand on that idea and you will come to realise that the living thing we are a part of will also be in a world of their own, within an even greater living creature, all playing the roles of their pre-programmed nature, and that within its own space, and time, and the universe. I believe that the big bang idea is ridiculous unless you view it another way. If you view it as a literal birth into being, in the exact same way, we ourselves and every living thing in our world are born into creation and grow as what we conceive as time goes forward until death. This process will be happening infinitely. Everything in our universe, forces we can see and those we can not is just a part of something bigger.

I do agree that it had to start somewhere, maybe that is the one true God, but It would be a hyper-quantum molecule of something, that really is impossible to comprehend or to ever be able to answer, rather than a being as most would like to believe. But that doesn’t mean that the hyper-molecule didn’t grow into something of being.

To sum this up, ancient Gods… could very well have visited us, they could be like medicine being introduced to our world, much like (or literally) a pill or injection is introduced to our own bodies. Much like we have good and bad bacteria and cells creating and fighting. Perhaps it would explain AUP/UFOs, aliens and “heavenly” visits and come to commune with our world, trying to fix, help and steer us back to health. But that is for another time in a future post. I hope, if you read this, that I have communicated well enough my own concepts of belief to you in a way that is easily digestible and meditated over. I will elaborate upon this idea extensively in the coming months, including the layers that which we can not see.

What do you make of this take on the theory of everything? What are your beliefs? I’m very interested to know.