This has been a week of realisations
I need to be more organised and find the balance between self care, study, and other personal projects (I may or may not reveal at some point here) if I am to live a truly happy life.
Back to basics is a must, especially now I have another epic area to explore and investigate. Sri Bhagavan, Bhagavad-Gita, The Vedas, and Hare Krishna.
I'm reading the Bhagavad-Gita by Gita press and I feel like my soul leaks and is pouring and bleeding colour out through my eyes.
As for "Bhagvad Gita As It Is", I have read the Gita parts of it but not yet the commentary as I am awaiting my copy of the 1972 version written as it originally was prior to the ISKCON troubles.
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is an interesting fellow. I will be doing a deep dive on him and ISKON at a later date.
So I think for now I am going to dedicate 7 day cycles as to my studies.
Another book I have been reading is "PSI in Pyschotherapy: Conventional & Nonconventional Healing of Mental Illness" by Alex Tanous, D.D., Elaine Schwinge, M.D., and Andrew F. Bambrick, Ph.D.
Synopsis: Rd. Alex Tanous (1926-1990) was an international lecturer on the topics of well-being, creativity and parapsychology. A self-professed psychich, he spent twenty years of his life being tested for his claims of 'light project' and going 'out-of-the-body' at will. He was also wellknown for placing his predictions of future events on record. This book, written in the 1980s by Tanous and colleagues, gives an overview of an innovative approach in the combined fields of conventionasl and non-conventional psychotheraputic healing."
The concept is intriguing for me due to it being two areas of interest. Psychology and Parapsychology but this a pretty dull read and I wont be spending much time writing about it. But the idea of co-working in this way has stuck in my head.
Especially given I heavily appreciate Carl Jung's Black and Red books which I am going to writing in depth about on Esoteric Student.
Between the HIndu texts, Buddhism, Carl Gustav Jung, and my studies on consciousness and ESP, minfulness practices, a few traditional esoteric topics, hermetiscism divination, and tarot, and virtual reality, I think it is a solid foundation to be entangled with.
If I want to learn and grow I must also do more physical activity and look after myself. I must not let the main thing in my life be the blog itself. I feel the wise thing to perceive it as being is a positive byproduct of this journey I am on. A source for inspiration and progress on the self, it needs to be less than a single stress.
I need to be less egoistic, which has at times been the source of my own manifestations and has bled into my writings and soul. But fortunately I am catching myself doing it quick enough for some damage control pre-action…such as when I press the send button.
"If I was a better person" is something also to be said less and less…or is this my ego self now writing such a thing?
Currently though I have so many things I wish to do, but less and less time to do it as inevitable age caught up with me some while ago already. For this my meditation practice is not yet at a place strong enough to helping as best as I need to be helped when reading given my ADHD. So I am awaiting an appointment to go back onto medication so I can read for hours on end undisturbed.
And it will help me to report more of how this journey is going also, and it will be non-stimulant.
It's heavy stuff I am researching and I'm not a natural at being a born-again student…I find it really hard to do what (I am faking until I make it) I'm trying to do for myself.
I really hope many others can try to do things for themselves, even if things do get, or are hard.
Of course Life is hard…but that's the journey.
I would do well to try to remember that, I mean going back on more medication sucks, but I am harming myself by not asking for help. And that could harm others around me too…but I want to be able to keep showing up for myself, because by doing that, we opcan continue to show up for others…and I want to keep showing up for whoever may read this..out there drifting in the ether….unknowing of where it may travel…that's why I do this…for the release and weight reductions, providing I remain mindful of what I am putting out there to them…to you too. ?👁️
Today has had a beautiful full circle. Last week I was happy and grateful of being able to save a tired bumblebee lying almost lifeless on the scorching pavement. So I picked him up and shared a sugary drink with him and allowed him to rest a while before we parted ways.
This morning I received an email inviting me to a three day introduction to practical beekeeping! It is a pilot of a scheme in the works for my local area and they want feedback.
The reasons for my journey continues to evolve, I look daily at what is happening in the world and it's becoming easier to bury my head in books and keep myself to within the small slice of this earth my home is resting upon.
We are fucked…the dystopia of the future is here, and has been for a long time. But what does "a long time" even really mean?
The more I'm reading the Hindu texts the more I am feeling sure that between such ancient knowledge, and up to the modern era of knowledge I have found what I have been looking for.
A base of areas to focus my studies on which resonates with me…stuff I can grasp (ego talking possibly).
I feel like I have confirmed that what I have discovered and experienced over the course of my life in various states of conciousness, are shared from the oldest of scriptures up to the most modern of sciences.
I feel a little lighter since having this revelation, but the question then becomes "now what?"
Now I just want to keep learning and have a simple life. I am fortunate enough to have my time to do what whatever I want to do. And so this is what I want to do.
