The Road Ahead, (VR) Virtual Reality & Community, New Esoteric Student Logo, Stalking the Wild Pendulum by Itzhak Bentov, Bhagavad-Gita As it is (1972) by Swami Prabhupada

I am grateful because a pattern is forming within a hopeful new routine. I have been dismayed at how long it's taking me to adjust to my new surroundings since moving home, but not now I'm noticing some structure to my life.

I am working on a few different projects for the blog. 

Each project is really positive and beneficial to not just myself but for others too. 

Things such as a live event in virtual reality, and writings on my experiences with and in vr, a long form book, an article on mindful beekeeping, book studies, people profiles and interviews, and more; all take time but are underway. But I do also just tend to take longer than most to do things in general. Which is odd as I always feel like I am rushing.

I would also like to get a video started soon.

Playing around with some new logo ideas. This one incorporates the moon

One priority, away from Esoteric Student, in my life is getting my new home into good order as it was far from that when I moved here…and it still is far from it. Especially as I am just a tad concerned about winter and the temperatures.

I realise that many of these update posts may not get read and I am good with that because aside from the Esoteric Student Facebook page which has followers left over from a previous users project, I am being a hopeful romantic about trying to keep things as organic as possible by word of mouth, organic search results etc.

I think it is not very likely to make a ripple from a micro-droplet given how technology and the internet is saturated with creators far more talented and interesting than I, who make use of the resources such as ad placements, and professionals.

I was recently asked a question at a regular writing meeting (in virtual reality) “who am i writing to?”

Meaning who do I feel is my audience?

It is a great question…I thought I had an answer for her but impermanence has done it's thing because it isn’t the same as when I started this path. I would say that it was to nobody, i just needed he action of pressing send, and putting it out into the ether like a message in a bottle.

I didn’t know anyone who may be reading what I write so chose to be anonymous instead just in case someone I know reads it and caused arguments or something of that ilk.

But in the past week I have arrived at the answer that I am writing to those I have met along the way up to this point now.

And I do know some of those people whose eyes may glance my scribbles from time to time. So I am changing my perspective and anwser to the question, I am starting to write friends.

I also revealed myself to a group of people who have supported me through these past couple of years, and whom I am going to be posting a lot about soon. They were once called EvolVR and now they are known as the “Together With Tripp” Community..

Who is Together With Tripp?

It is a privilege to say that I am a part of a truly amazing community and example of the good which can come of utilising virtual reality. Quite simply put, Together With Tripp is VR done right. And the best thing is you dont even need a virtual reality headset to become a part of the bleeding edge movement of the digital revolution in mental, and phsyical health and wellbeing. The events can be accessed via mobile devices and pc also, all for free!

I'm testament to it, and witness the transformation in all kind of people from all walks and locations of, and in, life; time and time again.

From their website they are: "Together with TRIPP. We are the largest live VR meditation community in the world, with weekly live events across the metaverse, on platforms such as VRchat, Rec Room and Horizon Worlds. We build a safe environment for people to connect and collectively support each other’s emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Join us in VR or even from your desktop and experience group meditations and activities without leaving your home."

I hold a huge debt of gratitude to these kind and gentle beings, and people I have met along the yellow brick road thus far from other communities in virtual reality.

Virtual reality has done great things for my life and I also am writing and will be posting a lot about.

There are other communities too of course. I frequent a few regularly, There is the Vitality Reawakened Community, MUSE, a Creative Writing Community, a VR Mystery School, and others of which I am writing stories of but not yet as I am trying to write as linearly as I can about the past.

I am still trying to find my writing style, and still toying with the format and times between posts so please be patient with me.

My latest reads are:

Stalking the Wild Pendulum by Itzhak Bentov.

Synopisis: In his exciting and original view of the universe, Itzhak Bentov has provided a new perspective on human consciousness and its limitless possibilities. Widely known and loved for his delightful humor and imagination, Bentov explains the familiar world of phenomena with perceptions that are as lucid as they are thrilling. He gives us a provocative picture of ourselves in an expanded, conscious, holistic universe.

&

Bhagavad-GIta As it is (1972) by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Synopsis: The Bhagavad-gita is universally renowned as the jewel of India's spiritual wisdom. Spoken by Lord Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead to His intimate disciple Arjuna, the Gita's seven hundred concise verses provide a definitive guide to the science of self realization. No other philosophical or religious work reveals, in such a lucid and profound way, the nature of consciousness, the self, the universe and the Supreme. His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is uniquely qualified to present this English translation and commentary on Bhagavad-gita. He is the world's foremost Vedic scholar and teacher, and he is also the current representative of an unbroken chain of fully self-realized spiritual masters beginning with Lord Krishna Himself. Thus, unlike other editions of the Gita, this one is presented as it is--without the slightest taint of adulteration or personal motivation. This edition is certain to stimulate and enlighten with its ancient yet thoroughly timely message.

These will take me some time to get through and attempt to digest at least some of what these books contain.

I am now using the Gateway Tapes daily but still only the first volume. But I have noticed that when actively paying attention to my hearing and the sounds around me that I can seperate the sound and focus on them into one specific reverberation. Which has now assisted me upon my own intention of capturing sounds, and working on them to produce an undertone to sample in a meditation sound idea I have and aspiration to act upon producing.

I haven't decided which sounds yet, and of course this sublevel track can be added to any number of other recording I can make of the ocean, wind, rain etc, It should be barely audiable to begin my tests with until I discover which of the recording it is most suited to complimenting.

Until next time friends!

Thank you.

Some Thoughts from the Week or so, The Bhagavad Gita and PSI in Pyschotherapy

This has been a week of realisations

I need to be more organised and find the balance between self care, study, and other personal projects (I may or may not reveal at some point here) if I am to live a truly happy life. 

Back to basics is a must, especially now I have another epic area to explore and investigate. Sri Bhagavan, Bhagavad-Gita, The Vedas, and Hare Krishna.

I'm reading the Bhagavad-Gita by Gita press and I feel like my soul leaks and is pouring and bleeding colour out through my eyes.

As for "Bhagvad Gita As It Is", I have read the Gita parts of it but not yet the commentary as I am awaiting my copy of the 1972 version written as it originally was prior to the ISKCON troubles.

A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is an interesting fellow. I will be doing a deep dive on him and ISKON at a later date.

So I think for now I am going to dedicate 7 day cycles as to my studies.

Another book I have been reading is "PSI in Pyschotherapy: Conventional & Nonconventional Healing of Mental Illness" by Alex Tanous, D.D., Elaine Schwinge, M.D., and Andrew F. Bambrick, Ph.D.

Synopsis: Rd. Alex Tanous (1926-1990) was an international lecturer on the topics of well-being, creativity and parapsychology. A self-professed psychich, he spent twenty years of his life being tested for his claims of 'light project' and going 'out-of-the-body' at will. He was also wellknown for placing his predictions of future events on record. This book, written in the 1980s by Tanous and colleagues, gives an overview of an innovative approach in the combined fields of conventionasl and non-conventional psychotheraputic healing."

The concept is intriguing for me due to it being two areas of interest. Psychology and Parapsychology but this a pretty dull read and I wont be spending much time writing about it. But the idea of co-working in this way has stuck in my head. 

Especially given I heavily appreciate Carl Jung's Black and Red books which I am going to writing in depth about on Esoteric Student.

Between the HIndu texts, Buddhism, Carl Gustav Jung, and my studies on consciousness and ESP, minfulness practices, a few traditional esoteric topics, hermetiscism divination, and tarot, and virtual reality, I think it is a solid foundation to be entangled with.

If I want to learn and grow I must also do more physical activity and look after myself. I must not let the main thing in my life be the blog itself. I feel the wise thing to perceive it as being is a positive byproduct of this journey I am on. A source for inspiration and progress on the self, it needs to be less than a single stress.

I need to be less egoistic, which has at times been the source of my own manifestations and has bled into my writings and soul. But fortunately I am catching myself doing it quick enough for some damage control pre-action…such as when I press the send button.

"If I was a better person" is something also to be said less and less…or is this my ego self now writing such a thing?

Currently though I have so many things I wish to do, but less and less time to do it as inevitable age caught up with me some while ago already. For this my meditation practice is not yet at a place strong enough to helping as best as I need to be helped when reading given my ADHD. So I am awaiting an appointment to go back onto medication so I can read for hours on end undisturbed. 

And it will help me to report more of how this journey is going also, and it will be non-stimulant.

It's heavy stuff I am researching and I'm not a natural at being a born-again student…I find it really hard to do what (I am faking until I make it) I'm trying to do for myself. 

I really hope many others can try to do things for themselves, even if things do get, or are hard.

Of course Life is hard…but that's the journey.

I would do well to try to remember that, I mean going back on more medication sucks, but I am harming myself by not asking for help. And that could harm others around me too…but I want to be able to keep showing up for myself, because by doing that, we opcan continue to show up for others…and I want to keep showing up for whoever may read this..out there drifting in the ether….unknowing of where it may travel…that's why I do this…for the release and weight reductions, providing I remain mindful of what I am putting out there to them…to you too. ?👁️

Today has had a beautiful full circle. Last week I was happy and grateful of being able to save a tired bumblebee lying almost lifeless on the scorching pavement. So I picked him up and shared a sugary drink with him and allowed him to rest a while before we parted ways.

This morning I received an email inviting me to a three day introduction to practical beekeeping! It is a pilot of a scheme in the works for my local area and they want feedback.

The reasons for my journey continues to evolve, I  look daily at what is happening in the world and it's becoming easier to bury my head in books and keep myself to within the small slice of this earth my home is resting upon.

We are fucked…the dystopia of the future is here, and has been for a long time. But what does "a long time" even really mean?

The more I'm reading the Hindu texts the more I am feeling sure that between such ancient knowledge, and up to the modern era of knowledge I have found what I have been looking for.

A base of areas to focus my studies on which resonates with me…stuff I can grasp (ego talking possibly).

I feel like I have confirmed that what I have discovered and experienced over the course of my life in various states of conciousness, are shared from the oldest of scriptures up to the most modern of sciences.

I feel a little lighter since having this revelation, but the question then becomes "now what?" 

Now I just want to keep learning and have a simple life. I am fortunate enough to have my time to do what whatever I want to do. And so this is what I want to do.

The Trifecta of Mystery =?

Who are we?...What are we?...What are we a part of?

This past twenty three months has been so eye opening, emotionally intense, and educational. On August 7th 2021 I wrote my first Esoteric Student post and made a couple more posts prior to hitting upon the idea of pausing to write about my perspective on a “theory of everything” as it appears to me.

I did this so I can return to it at a later date and see how much my view changes with time and the deeper I seek as I investigate more and more. I published this article on August 21st 2021, and already between then and now so much has happened that my perspective…and opinion, has shifted. 

I wrote my article with the intention of writing an updated version at some point in the future, however I didn’t expect it to be quite so soon as the NOW is. I realise that while I have some bias towards exploring subjects which I feel may support or dismiss my theories out of hand; I still do not know where exactly my studies are going to take me and what I am going to find.

My goal is to edge towards the truth, and facts regardless of if it is shown to support or deny what I find, and write about, prior to the findings of new information. And that is the “journey” I refer to being on, following the yellow brick road.

But I cannot present my progressive current understandings in a single crudely written post as I did before. This is the role the blog plays, so I can go deep.

Ultimately my main focus is consciousness but at times upcoming, it may not be overtly apparent that what I write and produce is related at all.

This is of course a fictitious diagram and not based on fact

Consciousness: What do I think?

What are we?

Is a question with few words, and yet contained within is a theory of everything. 

There are two more questions which in my opinion “almost” completes a trifecta.

What is our purpose?

What are we a part of?

For me they are the keys needed to induce the most profoundly important and reality shattering mental, and physical exercises in my journey of personal development and expansion.

Trifecta definition: I say that those three questions are “almost” a trifecta because the original use of the word “trifecta” was for making bets on horses. A trifecta means to correctly pick the first, second, and third place finishers at the races, in the correct order. The use of it is now much expanded upon and utilised in many different ways.

But in this instance I am choosing to use it with a question mark (?), due to the complexity and my being unsure with which order, if any, my three questions are appropriately queried.

What are we? What are we a part of? What is our purpose?

They could each be considered to be the same core head-scratching thing. 

Yet they also are quite a vastly different question from one-another, especially when expanded upon. I think?

Just like everybody else, I have so many questions to which I ponder over routinely and I do think I  know can not truly be answered…currently and not in my physical forms lifetime, but we keep on trying to. 

I feel that I keep coming back to such existential and innate trains of thought with a curiosity of warmth and comfort. It is as if my mind belongs to wonder, to see without using phsyical eyes. My mind is loose enough to drift, to flow through…to flow through what?

To flow through something of which I am not able to specify with true accuracy, maybe not any accuracy at all, in fact.

I mean…how i see it currently is super simple in that the matter of that which we are a habitat of physically, meaning bacteria, germs, and all that we are host to; there are good germs, and bad germs which are limited to their situation, they are trapped so to speak.

Now imagine if they were sentient, just as a fun thought and for the sake of this odd writings of mine.

Our body is kinda like their universe, and they are asking the same questions I am here…

Unless they built a germ/bacteria friendly little submarine, managed to use it to exite out our earhole to get a first hand eye witness account of their container, even take photographs and videos on their little germ equipment; and the returned by popping back in to show their population (which is also our own population within us we are host to) what they are apart of, how could they truly know?

They may try to do the same things us earthling humans do amongst our population?

Methods of which I am exploring and going to be writing about on Esoteric Student over the coming years.

My mind is so entangled with such subjects that other questions arise because if those bacteria do escape and bear witness to us, they would then also see that there is a landscape which holds host to us too. Kinda like macro and micro observation of the eternal sort. you know, we could just keep zooming out, and keep zooming in without end in the attempt of removing layers, but only getting as far as revealing new (to us) layers.

Questions, Questions, Questions…

“If the only part of ‘no contact’ that exists is the meaning of those words themselves when being put into the order I just wrote them in, is this an abstract paragraph in its claims?” 

Or is the notion of ‘contactless’ the true abstraction?

Meaning, do us humans commonly accept that we all blindly lead into the illusion of distance between physical objects and biological materials? 

I think it depends on a person's perspective and personal “theory of everything” but when challenged I wonder how concrete they are when defending the position of being opposite to the facts on the universal scale, and the microscopic, or even the vibrational frequency level, and quantum science?

Acknowledging, Accepting, Denying…hmmm…these things are tricky, one of my biggest issues to work on during my spiritual practice has been “Letting go”...

Is accepting a part of letting go?

If it is, does that mean the other side of the same coin is “Denial”?

Or is the key to letting go being able to do neither of those things by “Acknowledging” only?

Is accepting and denying the same as yes, and no, true, or false, real, and not real?

Is it ok, or is it not ok to ponder such a thing?

Are all of those things judgments in reality based on just what the limit of being perceivably perceptive of the brightest of us?

What judgments have you made while reading this? 

What judgments are you making right now?

Is every action and reaction a judgment based off of the limitations of available to us data at any one moment? 

Is everything we do a judgment of the future, one moment after the next?

Wow...I Can Begin!

 

It is a momentous occasion for a monumental effort, and please know that I know what you have done for me, and with me.

The place I am nestled away in as I write this is a new home...in a new chair...at a new desk, in Esoteric Student HQ.

To be able to sit here and write this has taken so much energy - while I do include me in that statement, it is not myself I am writing this about; because If it had not been for other people's lifeforce energy this all-important very first blog post wouldn't arrive.

The place I am nestled away in as I write this is a new home...in a new chair...at a new desk, in Esoteric Student HQ. The reasons for being here are vast…so this may take a while. 

It may take as long to read this as it has to write. It's been such a complex thing to try to write and hit upon so many expansive connections and moments, especially with people who I feel would do a disservice too, to not be included in such a personally important milestone moment; which this indeed is one such milestone moment.

What it represents is that the entirety of my life up to now is over. I'm totally starting over from scratch.

My Grandparent's canine compadre who is in my canine compadre too, my three turtles, and me.

The highs and the lows, (I have not been an easy person to deal with...a lot of times…regularly…at least... the shame makes it feel that way) have been at the extremes of an extrovert to introvert, and all in between at the flick of a switch during this past 20 months (as of the time I am writing this).

My journal, an image of mystical origins to be featured soon, my Grandparent's Rings and Ashes.

I apologise to anyone encountering negative moments with me.

Esoteric Student was created in August 2021.

Back then I was desperate…I was desperate to not lose the connection I had with my dying Grandmother, as I “thought” I had lost my Grandfather after he died in 2018. By which I mean that I could no longer “feel” his presence in the way I thought I would be able to.

Esoteric Student was the name that seemed fitting due to the intended direction of my intrigues. So began with religion and magick. The mysteries of the traditional esoteric material were out of my depth, it is a different language to that of which I speak. In many various ways, it is just a bit too difficult for me to jump into the deep end. 

I was drawn in that direction because no modern medicine was going to help me and my Grandmother in the afterlife...what the heck even is the afterlife? It seems logical to then go to that which has been around for the longest time and is esoteric in nature but I need to work backwards to understand it even on the basic fundamental levels. I’m talking about Keys of Solomon, Talismanic, Golden Dawn, Crowley, Hermes…and all the ancient texts etc.

I need to be able to try and grasp an understanding of the things I am to look into because I am not hoping to pull rabbits out of hats…I am looking for and intend on real-world results connected to everything. 

Everything is connected to everything…but how?

But I’m a layman to the correct terms, meanings, references…to most all this. I just have experiences where I don't know the right language and terms, and meanings etc…you get my point that I am not the smartest cookie in the jar...I'm not academic I just am a seeker…in the age, we’re in of solo seeking.

Personally, I have opted to focus on the esoteric layers within realms I have encountered, visited, and even toyed with; and tried to come to get to know well (in some cases) throughout my life.

The things I cannot deny exist…

I know how I got to be in some of the fringes of the most fringe fringiest of…?...places…I guess you could call it…and states of consciousness…which are not conducive to good health and I will not survive if I go back there via the means previously employed…I no longer want to die…again (I will cover this at a later date).

So when I was at this point my search kinda stalled due to my grandmother passing away and my trying to deal with going through it on my own (read this article "Goodbye"). 

Over in the United Kingdom, we lived in what is called a housing association home. aka too poor to buy our own home. And the house was too big for one person to live in so I couldn't stay living there, but I also had nowhere to move to. I knew only that I might have to wait about three months before I could move to a smaller place…but it turned into a limbo of more than 18 months living out of boxes not knowing where my future lay…at all.

And my mental health declined, and my physical health also.

During that time, from that old home to this new one has been such a wild ride, and I have been keeping track of it all via journals.

I found some new spaces…virtual spaces, and used my virtual Reality headset to begin to learn how to meditate, socially online, in the metaverse… what has transpired is the journey up to this point coming back full circle from old endings to new beginnings yet again…

(It’s the ebb and flow, the forever recycling change of impermanence, from one transformation to another…the stream of consciousness at the centre of it all, being cradled and nestled away; being sung lullabies to keep it sleeping within the subconscious…)

It is the gentle cold air on the tips of our nose with each allowed, noticed, but automatic, inhale.

This is what changed the direction of everything for me. 

This is what a very kind and wise person taught me first during my first meditation session about getting to the present moment.

To be conscious in the present moment…

Present Moment…this is where things are happening…?  

From one perspective everything is in the present moment. And nothing happens outside of it…but how big of a moment are we talking about here because that's a lot of wiggle room to try to consider?...

This question is a legitimate thing to ask.

Extra Sensory Perception in my opinion is the rabbit hole of rabbit holes to go into, and consciousness studies, parapsychology, meta-analysis, meditation, audio, gratitude, love, trying to learn how to be truly alive, expanding the awareness, mindfulness tools, psychology, science (included “pseudo” and quantum of course! (eye roll perhaps), medicine, religions, rituals, the paranormal…just name it and if it has in any way to do with “Consciousness Expansion” because I want to try at least to grasp a better understanding of things i have been curious about my whole life…I want to write about it and post it here because I figure there are other spiritual beings like me out there in the ether of all that exists, who know there is more going on, and want to learn about what it could be. 

My theory of everything currently is quite far out there and based entirely on only my own perspective. I wrote this ("What I Believe" link) prior to this Esoteric Student journey as a way to reflect on, and sit with any changes at various times…such as this time.

Everyone who does want to learn more and begin their journey can because anyone can be their own Esoteric Student.

It is this path I am choosing to challenge, probe, discover, and learn about. I am going within the universal flow which is a stream we can all tune in to. It's knowing how to stay there…ironically by learning to let go. Which is something I struggle with. 

So this is where I am introducing a format of deep dives with which I wish to go with from this Esoteric Student full-(re)launch moving forward. I will be posting various multiple things about many things. And I am really looking forward to presenting aspects of what my deep dives are into.

Everyone who would like to…can follow the same stream of consciousness as my own by keeping an eye out on my reading updates when I begin a new book, meditation, or virtual reality events, zoom or live stream YouTube for example. 

You see, this is where writing helps me so much, such as journaling, drawing, creating, and sharing. It helps me to really process and sit with everything. 

It also helps me during the moments, from an observer's perspective, (sometimes at least) because I want to take in as much as I can. Which at times can be way too much. And at other times…it is I who can be too much!

I am Autistic, among other things including ADHD. I can get very paranoid so there may be more to it than is diagnosed, so I shouldn't speculate. I am also hyper-sensitive, I have fewer filters, so need more time to process. I hope you see my point of needing a release, writing then pressing that send button on here, Esoteric Student is that release.

It is a tool.

Why do I wish to remain anonymous? 

This is where things get tricky. And illuminating from my perspective because being so rigid on the subject of anonymity is for good solid reasons…or so I thought. And I still do in a lot of ways, but I am now looser on this topic than I was in August 2021.

So much has happened since then (I keep repeating this to myself).

When starting out I knew that in order to be liberated enough to keep this process of exploring and writing on as truer a journey as possible I had to be able to not worry too much about being judged or offending anyone, like a family member for example.

Or to be steered away from my primary path by friends too…

I am aware how this next part may be taken in all sorts of directions in itself...but I didn’t want any friends; for the same reasons as above, plus a couple of more reasons too.

Being someone who uses this blog as a tool, concept, idea…I feel it is important to maintain the integrity of the experiences, readings, conversations, interactions and meetings I share here on Esoteric Student…in the ways, a journalistic approach may be utilised. So in order to maintain some order and add a layer of simplicity…I was able to maintain this for a while. Kept my distance so to speak, and times when I just couldn’t speak (literally). Or I did speak too much (still do!).

But having such a narrow unfulfillment-laced bone-headed approach such as that misses the whole point of this journey entirely.

I have met many people in the time since August 2021, and have made some great friendships, and lost some too. I'm grateful for the lessons, and ongoing learning from those close.

I have many stories to tell over the coming weeks, months, and years. Our story together will be told…using this tool to be known as Esoteric Student.

What’s coming up after this post is a period of time required to settle into a new routine and ways of streamlining how I work, to become more efficient. Some of it will work and some of it won’t, but that is also the journey.

Now…my intentions are to just investigate with curiosity about things I don't know about and to see where it leads.

Sitting here writing this now is still from a state of preparing to unleash my thirst of losing myself in all-encompassing interests with curiosity for knowledge.

It might seem funny to say…but when I release this writing and press publish…everything changes at that moment…that one present moment…but does the present moment even exist? Because it doesn't feel real to finally be here…I am finally fucking here! And it doesn't feel real…surreal…..

Being present…being in the moment…the present moment…general awareness…consciously aware…being aware and mindful of consciousness…flow…stream of consciousness…in my uneducated opinion can each be viewed in many different ways as many different things to many different beings depending on how each of us view languages and words. When we're being fully present…are we aware that we are within the slice of being present during…before it, or after it…?

I must end this very first post with a new fresh view of life as it began. With my deepest gratitude to everyone who has ever helped me to get to be sitting in this chair, at this desk, in this house, in this life.

I understand this post will be underwhelming for some but at this point, I just need to get the weight of publishing my first post from this new stage of my life,  which has created a self-expectation bar higher than I can reach in one post and I have stressed myself out over it enough to need to just get past this first post-hang-up so I can post more about specific subjects.

Thank you to everybody who has helped me.

Reading & Moving House Update. Psychic Wars by Elmar Gruber

 Psychic Wars: Parapsychology in Espionage - and Beyond

by Elmar Gruber

UPDATE: It is official. My move date is April 17th! 

Book synopsis: 

More than 25 years of secret military research into parapsychology research by the military on both sides of the Cold War resulted in psychic warfare and espionage. This book reveals those experiments and programmes showing how they have gone on to be the foundation for more sensational research and the developments in so-called "PSI powers" and institutions.